It’s rare for a child to tell an adult about being groomed. This means we don't know how common grooming is.
Children may not speak out because they’re:
- ashamed
- feeling guilty
- unaware that they're being abused.
- believe they are in a relationship with a ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’.
The grooming relationship can move quickly from being something that seems to have positive benefits for the child to being very frightening and isolating. Initially the child or young person is conditioned to respect, trust and love their groomer. They may not understand they are being groomed because they consider their groomer to be their boyfriend or girlfriend.
The child may be uncomfortable with what they are being asked to do but not feel able to say no or seek help because they:
- are worried about jeopardising the relationship if they don’t give consent.
- are scared of what the groomer will do if they speak out or refuse to comply.
- don't want to get the groomer in trouble.
- blame themselves for getting involved in the relationship.
- are ashamed of sharing sexual details with other people.